An Ode to My Dogs

I remember when I first brought Sam and Bim home with me. They were both so tiny, and I could lift them each up with only one hand.

When my dad told me that we were bringing them home, I was happy. But a part of me also worried that I wouldn’t know how to take care of dogs.

All my life, I’ve wanted to have my own dogs. And when the opportunity finally came, I suddenly felt frightened. To have these living beings depend on you for everything, when you couldn’t even take care of yourself, was overwhelming.

My parents and I took them both to the vet as soon as we traveled back to Manila from Tagaytay. Bim had to stay at the pet hospital because he had contracted an apparently fatal virus while he was with his previous caretakers. I was worried, but I noticed how he kept fighting even in his weakened state. And I knew then that he would survive.

At home, a different challenge presented itself. That first night, Sam cried a lot and I didn’t know how to help her feel better. Her tummy was already full, yet she continued howling at ungodly hours in the night. I held her in my arms and rocked her back and forth. She calmed down for a while but continued crying after waking up.

I felt so helpless against her cries. Suddenly, I felt as though I had bitten off more than I could chew. Really, what was I thinking? Could I really handle taking care of two living beings?

If only my dogs and I spoke the same language, I would ask them, “Were you as nervous and overwhelmed as I was?” They probably were. But I’m grateful that we didn’t give up on each other.

The next few days were easier. Sam seemed to start taking a liking to me, following me around the house like a little duckling. Everywhere I turn, I’d find her there. When I went to my bedroom. When I went out to the living room. Even when I needed to take a quick shower.

I remember having to sacrifice one of my old tiny stuffed toys so that she could have something to play with until my next trip to the pet store. I remember how my parents and I looked for old cardboard boxes to create makeshift dog houses so that she could sleep comfortably in my room.

We were getting used to each other, and Sam started crying less and less. I could feel her slowly becoming more comfortable with me.

And I suppose, I was also getting to know her moods and her personality. Like how she loves being held and petted. And how she would always greet you with a wagging tail whenever you walk through the front door. And how she would always look at you as though you were the most important being on earth.

When Bim came home, it was another adjustment period. I think Sam was happy to have her brother back but it was challenging for me to care for two puppies at the same time. It took me a while to understand Bim’s different needs and temperaments.

He was a more sullen puppy, not like the little ball of energy that Sam was. Bim would almost always prefer a nap to playtime. He initially seemed so delicate, needing more guidance and patience than his healthy sister. I remember how Sam used to steal food from his dog bowl and he was helpless to stop her.

Bim wouldn’t look up at me the way Sam did, and he would rarely wag his tail when I petted him. But I remember cradling him in my arms to help him fall asleep. He would sleepily lick my hand and nuzzle his face on my arm. And I knew then that, though he wasn’t as expressive as Sam was, he loved me too.

In the span of a few short months, I watched them both grow to be such happy and healthy puppies.

I can no longer carry them both at the same time. They’ve grown much too big for that!

Sometimes, I still doubt my ability to care for them the way they deserve. I know I have a lot of weaknesses as a dog owner (the collection of scratches on my legs and arms are a testament to that) but when they run to me with their wagging tails and their gentle, loving eyes, I realize that maybe I’m not the worst pet owner ever.

They’ve left their mark on my home and my life (both literally and figuratively). I no longer have a house free of pee-stained rugs and lightly scratched furniture. An array of dog toys are constantly scattered around my floor. A lot of my family’s expenses now go to purchasing dog food and treats, as well as saving for vet visits.

Taking care of two puppies is a huge responsibility and a real test of patience at times. But they’ve filled my heart with so much love and joy.

When I cry, two dogs immediately run to my side and lick the tears from my face. When I’m stressed, they would let me hold them and hug them until I calm down. When we go for walks, they would follow me around and look up at me with those sweet eyes. When I give them baths, they would splash around in the tub and give me wet puppy hugs.

It’s a wonderful feeling to realize that you have two living beings around you who love you unconditionally and think the world of you. To wake up every day and see them trying to climb your bed and snuggle next to you. To have them depend on you to feed them and play with them. To let them shower you with slobbery kisses and warm cuddles.

I wouldn’t trade this feeling for all the sleep, clean rugs, and untarnished furniture in the world.