The Balancing Act: Writing Complicated Fictional Characters and Relationships

Writing is an act of passion. It is something deeply personal and intimate, something that comes from an artist’s need to create. After all, we, as writers, use our own experiences, feelings, and ideas when crafting fictional narratives. And when we share these works with others, it is like sharing a piece of ourselves.

As much as we love writing whatever story comes to our mind, we also must realize that nothing exists in a vacuum. We can’t assume that our words won’t have an impact on our readers, on other writers, on individuals who relate to our story, or even to society as a whole. Stories have the power to inspire, educate, and uplift… but they can also be used as tools to mock, deride, and even outright harm others.

How can we, as writers, balance our own deep love for a complicated (or even downright “immoral”) character/story while still staying conscious of our social responsibility as individuals?

This was a thought that came to me when I started writing fanfiction. As most of you know, I started becoming an active reader and writer of The Phantom of the Opera fanfiction a few months ago. Though I am a fan of many things (Marvel, Harry Potter, BBC Sherlock, etc.), I have never actually engaged in a fandom community before. So, it was a big deal for me to actually start sharing my work with others who also participated in this particular fandom.

If you are unfamiliar with The Phantom of the Opera, it’s about a disfigured musician who becomes obsessed with a young singer. He does many terrible things (like deception and manipulation, kidnapping, blackmail, and murder) just because of his obsessive love for the girl. Despite all of this, many fans (including myself) sympathize with him because of his lonely and isolated existence.

The story compelled me enough to want to write a fanfic about the title character and the female lead having a complicated romance. What I wrote (and am still writing) was like a “what-if” story. What if these two characters actually got together? How would things change? Would the circumstances be different?

As I wrote it, I wanted to be clear that I do not endorse The Phantom’s actions, that I do not, in any way, want to glorify the terrible things he does. I wanted to write a story that made it clear that, in order to have the life he so clearly wants, he has to be willing to grow, change, and heal from his traumatic past. I wanted to write a story that could be hopeful for him (show him at his worst but still put him on the path to redemption) while still making sure that his actions have consequences.

I’ve written 32 chapters and I’m still struggling with this delicate balancing act. It is truly difficult to separate your feelings for a character or story from the more objective, logical side of your mind.

Human behavior is often full of gray areas. How do we write and portray stories that deal with complex moral issues? How can we show empathy for a complicated character (one with clear mental health and emotional issues) without letting them off the hook for their mistakes and morally wrong actions?

To help me better understand where to draw the line, I tried to do research on two popular novels that started out as fanfiction, 50 Shades of Grey and After. These two stories are often criticized for romanticizing abusive and unhealthy relationships.

I thought that analyzing these two stories could help me learn what to avoid when writing a “complicated romance.” So, here are a few of my thoughts on what to do and what not to do when portraying a volatile character/relationship:

 

#1: Do not use childhood trauma as an excuse for abusive behavior.

Yes, our experiences play a huge role in shaping our personality. They may explain our behavior… but they do not excuse or justify them. Having a sad childhood does not give an individual the right to harm another. Christian Grey and Hardin Scott are both guilty of this. They take out their anger, frustrations, and hang-ups on their respective significant others, Ana and Tessa.

If you ever want to write a story where the main character has unresolved issues stemming from past trauma, be clear that this is what you’re trying to portray. Don’t dance around the issue. Maybe make their significant other or another character call them out on their behavior. Then, maybe you could show the character working through their trauma and learning healthier coping mechanisms.

 

#2: Stay away from the “love can fix you” trope.

In both 50 Shades and After, the main “heroes” end up “getting fixed by the love of a good woman.” And… yeah, this should not be a thing.

It’s unrealistic to expect someone else to fix your own flaws and issues. Yes, having someone to love and support you helps, but you need to be responsible for your own actions. If you plan on writing a romantic story where one of the characters has clear personal hang-ups, make it clear that the partner is not responsible for “fixing” the other. The character with the unresolved issues should eventually be the one to make a decision to change for the better.

 

#3: Don’t imply that love is a “prize” that the complicated character deserves.

No individual is entitled to anyone’s love and affection. And even in fiction, we shouldn’t make it seem as though love is something that you earn as the result of good behavior. Love is something that is freely given, not something you can demand from another.

This one’s a bit tougher to pin down, I admit. It’s hard not to feel sorry for a character with a sad backstory and think that he/she just needs to be loved to feel better. But the reality is that love is not a magic cure that suddenly changes a person. For the complicated character, love can be part of his/her story… but personal growth/therapy/dealing with issues from the past should also be addressed.

 

Well, those are all the ideas I have for now. Admittedly, I’m not an expert on romantic relationships. I’d love to hear other people’s thoughts on writing “complicated” romance stories.

In your opinion, is it possible to write a relationship for a character that has deep emotional and behavioral issues? How can characters like this be portrayed sympathetically without outright excusing their behavior? Let me know your thoughts on the comments below!

How Writing Fanfic Helped Me Work On My Mental Health

For as long as I can remember, I had wanted to be a writer. When I was a kid, my dream was to become an author, to create an epic tale that would touch the hearts and minds of readers from all over the globe. My parents had bought me a notebook and I had filled it with various stories and poems.

I don’t remember when I began thinking that this dream was too fantastical, too impractical. But I know that I dismissed the idea and started setting my sights on more practical pursuits.

Perhaps, journalism would be a better choice. At least, this was what I told myself as I applied to become a part of my high school newspaper. Becoming a journalist would still involve writing, after all, but the contents of my work would be based solely on the news happening around me, rather than the more outlandish tales that popped into my mind. With the guidance of a wise and caring teacher, my writing skills blossomed and I soon became the editor-in-chief.

By the time I had started preparing for college, I was determined to continue on this path. But as anyone who has ever read my blog page knows, I wasn’t able to take up the course I wanted. Instead, I began exploring my interest in Psychology. At this point in my life, I barely wrote anything aside from academic papers and the occasional social media rants or blog posts.

After graduating, I got my first job at a digital marketing agency. I worked as a copywriter and learned a variety of new skills. Although I am grateful for the experience I gained at this company, I admit that staying there for a year and a half broke something in me.

Every day, I would write two to three blog articles for a business that I didn’t know much about, involving topics that I usually had very little knowledge of. Yes, doing this helped me expand my horizons and get out of my comfort zone. But it also left me feeling mentally exhausted, drained, and empty.

I was productive. Yet, I felt stressed and tired all the time. I had very little time for myself and for my family. There were days where I was so exhausted that I had to file a leave just to get a good night’s rest. I loved writing but, when I tried to write for myself during my free time, my body turned against me. It became a daily struggle to even look at a blank Word document and not feel dread and despair.

So, I quit my job. I was frightened to do so because I knew it was impractical, immature, and, some may say, downright foolish. But I couldn’t ignore the voice in my mind anymore. I was miserable and I needed a break.

Quitting came with plenty of perks but just as many cons. I tried my hand at freelancing. I took on a few freelance copywriting jobs just so I would have money in my pocket. Still, my mind screamed at me, beckoned for me to just rest. I listened and stopped writing copy for a while.

So, I was unemployed and avoiding taking on freelance work. I was severely unproductive. Every day, I felt more and more like a failure. Even though I longed for a break, I felt pressure from well-meaning family members to just look for a new job already. Or at least start taking on freelance work again.

But my mind wouldn’t cooperate with me. I would try to look through available projects and job listings. My mind would yell at me and remind me of the emptiness and dread I felt while I was employed.

My mental health has never been very stable. Even when I was in high school, I had these chronic bouts of sadness and anxiety. During these times, all I wanted to do was lock myself in my room and retreat into the deep recesses of my mind. The empty feelings grew stronger during my college days. For someone who has been an honor student since pre-school, failing class after class made my self-esteem plummet. And even though I was well and productive at my first job, these feelings never went away.

So, how did I cope with feeling like a sadsack, you ask?

It all started with a ticket to see The Phantom of the Opera live at The Theatre at Solaire.

Although I’ve always considered myself a fan of musicals, I’ve rarely seen live theater productions. After all, tickets for these plays were pretty expensive compared to the average movie ticket. Needless to say, I was very excited when my parents told me that they bought tickets for The Phantom of the Opera 2019 World Tour in Manila.

I had very little knowledge of what The Phantom was about. But after watching the musical that night, I fell in love.

The very next day, I watched the 2004 movie starring Gerard Butler and Emmy Rossum. For the next weeks, I listened to the Phantom of the Opera soundtrack on repeat, even watching YouTube tutorials about how to sing the songs. I would try to desperately memorize the lyrics, singing out loud while I took showers or cooked rice or washed the dishes. After that, I moved on to reading Christine/Erik fanfiction and searching for fan art/fanworks online.

I was obsessed. And though I didn’t understand why at the time, pouring my heart and soul into this story about a disfigured musician and his obsession with a young soprano made me feel… happier, at least a bit.

One night, as I lay in my bed trying to fall asleep, inspiration struck me. I was moved with the need to write, to create. For the first time in a long, long, long time, I wanted to write a story. I haven’t written any stories since high school.

My mind didn’t want to sleep. So, I opened my laptop and let my hands fill a blank document with words which turned into sentences, which transformed into paragraphs, which then bloomed into full chapters.

I have never felt happier than when I finished the first few chapters of my Phantom of the Opera fanfiction. It was a victory, though one that only I would really appreciate.

To this day, I still haven’t finished the story in its entirety. But each time I finish a chapter, I feel a sense of accomplishment. Once again, I was writing something that I cared about, something that I was passionate about.

Currently, I’ve finished 29 chapters and 31,000+ words (I’m planning on writing up to 40 chapters, maybe). Last week, I took a leap of faith and actually published the first two chapters online. I’ve committed to posting two chapters a week.

I understand now why The Phantom of the Opera had touched me so much. I was able to relate to the title character in a lot of ways. Although I’ve never stalked anyone or dropped chandeliers on people, I can relate to Erik. I feel his loneliness and isolation. I understand his passion for his art. I understand the complicated feelings that come with loving someone who doesn’t love you back.

Expressing long-held and ignored feelings through a story really helped ease the stress, sadness, and anxiety I felt. And returning to my childhood passion for writing stories felt cathartic. It felt meant to be.

I wish I could say that all my problems are gone now, but that’s far from the truth. I know that I still have a lot of personal issues to work on. However, I know that my sadness would be unbearable had I not gone to see that play.

Sometimes, life is about finding joy in little things.

For me, I found joy in writing fanfiction. And it’s helping me understand myself and my emotions a bit more.